Monday, January 18, 2010

Boot Straps

I’ve been living life on auto-pilot the past several weeks. I tried to pass the lack of ambition off as a vacation, but let’s just get real… I’m at a complete standstill.

I know how I got here. In November, right after I signed the contracts for Awenasa Island, I somehow pulled all three hamstrings in the back of my left leg. Because I’m a huge procrastinator I didn’t see a doctor and thought the problem would just dissipate into thin air and life would go on at its usual break-neck speed. WRONG! Listen up people, if you hurt your body, seek out a professional’s help!

Now, two months later, I’m stuck in a lackluster rut of despair. No, I’m not clinically depressed, just a little blue around the edges. I’m going to PT and the leg is slowly beginning to work again. Walking is hard, and I still can’t sit for long periods of time or stand for very long. Nerve damage is a Bitch, but I did ask for it by not seeking help, so who’s really to blame? No, I’m not asking, I know I did it to myself.

What do you do when you’re down in the dumps and no one’s around to understand you and pull you out? Grab your own damn boot straps and pull!!! Easier said than done, but hey, I’m not the kind to sit in a pile of my own poo for too long.

Here’s to those of us who can tell when they need to just get over it, and to those not afraid to tell us we need a shower and a bullshit check. Yea, it takes me twice as long to move through life right now (literally, twice as long to get my body to move), but who’s to say making it through this rough patch won’t make me twice as fast in the long run.

Cheers to the strong bitches among us!


  1. Oh Ann, I know the feeling of being down in the dumps. And why the hell didn't you go to the doctor? Don't be hard on yourself, you're not an idiot. I'm a practice manager for a pain doc and you'd be surprised at how many people don't seek medical attention right away. I'm raising my hand right now! I have asthma brought on by Brochitis I got over a year ago and I'm still not going to the doctor. I just keep thinking if I can't breathe, I'll go in.

    You have a lot going on right, but I hope you keep smiling. We all need your cheerful voice!

  2. Love the blog!!!! We all go through blue spells. The thing to do is just bull your way through them. I surround myself with bright yellows oranges and greens. That just makes me happy!

    I left you something at my rambling blog!